her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
