They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
