So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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