check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Couch. On fire.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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