A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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