look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
