I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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