this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize