im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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