He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
