Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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