Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
