Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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