hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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