Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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