I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize