On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
