his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
