I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I want to fling myself into the sun
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
