Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
mondays should just be called national damage control day
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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