You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize