Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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