It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
