Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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