So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
