i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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