Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That accounts for only three of the penises
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
