She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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