woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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