Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
