Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
