The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
