Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
