Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
