i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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