I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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