Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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