I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize