Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
