It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
