im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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