Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
