just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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