just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize