WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
