Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
