My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
