i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
