One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
