Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
