Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
