I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
