I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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