We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
