he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
