wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
