Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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