I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
