Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
