Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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